One! | Finn's Birth Story [updated]

Finn Wilder turns one today! I'm so thankful for this sweet boy. Even though I haven't been blogging I wanted to record his birth story and share it here, but it's been a year (obviously) so some of the details are hazy for me. The wonderful photos are by our dear friend and birth photographer extraordinaire, Karissa. There are no graphic images but there is one where I look like I'm in the middle of a primal yell... just thought I should warn you! :) Thanks for reading... 

My water broke at around 10:30 on a Tuesday night. It was September 10th, eleven days past my due date, and I anticipated labor lasting into the next day. We had to go to the hospital rather than stay home to labor because I had tested positive for Group B Strep and had to have antibiotics prior to delivery, so Matt and I quickly got our things together and I called my mom to come stay with Ezra for the night. I started to cry then, thinking about how Ezra's life would change and how I wouldn't be there for him in the morning, something that had never happened before. I knew adding a child to our family, and a brother for Ezra, would be a blessing but in that moment I mourned for the life we shared as a little family of three. As we waited for my mom to arrive I called our midwife, Deb, and informed Karissa and Natalie, our doula, that we would be heading to the hospital soon.

Everyone met us there and we came up with a plan for the night. My body seemed to be responding to my water breaking in the same way it did when my water broke before I had Ezra - it basically didn't do anything. At least not anything productive! I had contractions but they were completely tolerable and I arrived at the hospital only 1 cm dilated, feeling fine, not like I was going to have to push a baby out. Our options were to try to sleep and hope labor would begin overnight, and if it didn't, be induced in the morning, or to try to stimulate labor and get things moving. We opted for the latter because I really wanted to avoid induction (I was induced with Ezra and realllly didn't like it). To make a long story short, my labor did not get going overnight. We basically walked the halls and tried to get some oxytocin flowing but it didn't work, so on the morning of the 11th I agreed to labor augmentation with Pitocin. If you don't know, Pitocin is the synthetic form of oxytocin and it causes much more intense contractions than usual. I mentally prepared myself for the intensity and sure enough my contractions came more quickly and they were much stronger. We continued to walk the halls with a telemetry unit and I was coping well. It even says so in my medical records :) Once my contractions were steady Deb suggested that she break my water (it hadn't broken entirely when labor began the previous day) and turn down the Pitocin, hoping that my body would continue laboring on its own. Unfortunately that didn't happen. Deb did break the remaining bag of waters and lowered the Pitocin, but very quickly I noticed the intensity of the contractions subside. Disappointed, I told everyone in the room that they weren't as strong and resigned myself to more Pitocin.

I labored in many different positions as the Pitocin levels were steadily increased, and now I was not coping so well (also reported in my records, ha). We all thought I was in transition but when Deb checked my cervix I was only 5 cm dilated which was devastating. I couldn't believe how hard I was laboring and I was only halfway there! My records say that at this point the plan was to check my cervix in another two hours and if there was no change I would get an epidural. I don't remember if we discussed getting the epidural or not, but I do remember that I didn't want one. I really wanted to do this on my own, especially since I couldn't when I had Ezra. An hour later the doctor on call was consulted about my lack of progress and he agreed with the plan to administer an epidural in an hour if there was no change. I continued to have contractions and they were terrible. I remember crying through some of them, sobbing and writhing, and Deb basically telling me if I didn't pull myself together and work through the contractions I would have to get the epidural. Matt says he remembers that her admonishment got my attention and things started to progress. Edited to add, because Karissa just left me a message reminding me about one of the most crucial aspects of this hard labor. A reminder like this is just one of the many reasons it's awesome to have other women supporting you during labor - they will remember what you have forgotten! Anyway, when Deb was telling me to relax, I asked "how do I relax?" The memory surfaced; I remember I asked it desperately, wailed is more like it. I was frustrated, and all I had done to prepare for giving birth had escaped my mind. I couldn't relax, and I needed Deb to tell me how. She said, "just picture yourself in the arms of Jesus." Deb is a Christian, and God gave her the perfect words in that moment. Having a Christian midwife was and is such a blessing. I remember we prayed together at one point, too. I ended up making the most progress standing at the side of the bed, leaning over it, and squeezing Matt's hands with each contraction. Natalie stood behind me, applying counter pressure with each contraction, and eventually I felt the need to sit/squat and Natalie supported my weight. However, Natalie is only about as big as me when I'm not pregnant so it got to be a bit much for her, so Deb acted as my chair, bearing my weight. I remember thinking, "is this weird that I'm sitting on Deb's lap?" but nothing matters when one is in labor so I brushed that thought aside. As the contractions grew more intense I remember wanting to throw up so badly but I wasn't and it was so frustrating. I was hot and sick and in immense pain and I just wanted to be done! My reaction to these contractions showed that I had finally, probably, progressed to completion and was ready to push.

I wanted to help catch the baby so I labored on my side, and I remember squeezing Matt's hands as hard as I was physically able to, and repeatedly yelling "OH MY GOODNESS! I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW BAD THIS HURTS!" because I really couldn't believe it. I feel a little bit sick right now just thinking about it. Thankfully, this phase didn't last long. The baby's shoulders were a bit stuck so Deb had to apply pressure to my abdomen in order to move the delivery along, but I only pushed for eight minutes total, and then I reached down and this little guy was handed up to me.

I will never get over the miracle of birth. As I'm ;ooking at these pictures again I'm amazed at God's design. Anyway, our second baby boy was born at 4:47 pm (only an eighteen hour labor! Much better than the forty-eight hours I endured with Ezra) and he was giant! And adorable! And I loved him immediately, even though you can't tell from the pictures, ha... If you looked at all the images from the day you would notice that I don't smile at all until about an hour after delivery. Labor is hard, man! I was recovering in more ways than one. Anyway, we named him Finn and spent the afternoon marveling at the little baby who had entered our lives.

Matt & Deb :)

Karissa

About four hours after Finn was born our families came to meet him. I asked that Ezra come in first so we could have a few moments together, and their introduction went better than I imagined it would. Ezra kissed Finn a few times and wanted to look at all his body parts, especially his tiny toes :)

We gave Ezra a doll that I made for him, and Ezra brought a rattle that he had picked out for Finn when we were shopping a couple months before. Being a family of four was (and is!) beautiful.

Happy birthday, Finny! We're so glad you're ours!

Feeding Finn

Feeding Finn has been far easier than I anticipated it would be and I'm so thankful. Matt has snapped a few pictures of me and my little nursling, but I wanted to do something a little more deliberate to remember this season of our lives. Enter Karissa, friend and birth photographer extraordinaire. She took photos when both of the boys were born and when Ezra was nursing, too. I knew she would be willing to do it again, even at six months pregnant with her toddler in tow, and especially if I bribed her with tacos. Pregnant ladies love tacos. Heck, who doesn't love tacos? Anyway, we spent about an hour in Providence to get these shots. Matt kept Ezra and Zekiah occupied and Finn basically refused to nurse because he wanted to play with the boys and/or smile at Karissa and random passersby. Still, I love these pictures and am so glad I'll always have them to help me remember this time. Thanks so much, Karissa! I promise we'll get tacos if the Taqueria is ever actually open. 

 

 

That face! I just can't. This sweet boy has my heart.

 

Ezra turns 2! | a school bus birthday party

I've been putting off writing about Ezra's second birthday party because I was overwhelmed by the amount of pictures that Matt took, but I finally sorted through them and chose some of my favorites to share here. We held Ezra's party on a Thursday morning because of some weekend scheduling issues that couldn't be resolved, but it ended up working out quite well. The party was school bus-themed because Ezra loves watching the neighborhood children getting picked up in the morning right outside our house every day. After Matt's return home from work, I think it's his favorite part of the day.

Matt started snapping before I had everything completely set up, and once the toddler party guests arrived my carefully staged dining room was quickly dismantled (as it should be at a party!) so there aren't any pictures of the full set up. The paper products are all from Target (plates found in the dollar section and the rest are Mara Mi), and I borrowed the yellow striped tablecloths from my mother-in-law.

They're hard to see, but I made little flags for the cupcakes out of white and yellow ticking. A matching garland hung from the two shelves in the dining room.

I replaced everything that's usually on them with a few things that coordinated with the party theme - yellow tulips in a mint julep cup, an embroidery hoop displaying a square of school bus fabric (Kokka Beep Beep, in case anyone is wondering), a wind up school bus toy, a framed illustration of a bus, the silver E from Ezra's room (it made an appearance last year, too), a wooden school bus I found on Etsy, and a candle. Yeah, the candle didn't have much to do with anything, but I needed something to fill the space. Of course pom poms were involved (will I ever stop making them?).

We served banana bread, pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, cinnamon rolls, and mini bananas.

Drinks were kept simple - just water and apple cider.

I found these cute school bus wrappers for Hershey's chocolates, so of course I printed out a few sheets and Ezra and I spent an afternoon cutting and sticking them on. (Of course I was in charge of cutting so don't anyone get worried. Ezra was in charge of the glue dots.)

Lucky for us, my dad works part time for a bus company so he was able to drive a school bus over to the party and take us for a ride! I was beyond ecstatic when his request was approved because I thought it would be the perfect party activity and I knew Ezra would be excited to ride with his Grandpa.

We rode over to a playground near our house and let the kids burn off some energy for a while. 

Obviously it's very difficult to take a picture of twenty toddlers and preschoolers with their moms.

After about twenty minutes we all piled back on the bus and headed back home for birthday cupcakes!

Ezra had been waiting for this moment since he woke up. He had been practicing blowing out the candles since his friend Amelia's party. You know, just blowing on anything or nothing after half singing "happy happy!"

I think Ezra ate the frosting off of three cupcakes and left the rest. He basically ate cupcakes for breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, and dessert that day. What can I say? A boy doesn't turn two every day.

A week before Ezra's party I decided to make a child-size photo booth prop. We didn't do a fancy backdrop, but the kids had fun pretending to drive the school bus around our house.  

Babies got in on the action, too!

We sent everyone home with yellow school bus crayons and little school bus coloring books I made using Microsoft Word and free school bus coloring pages. Apparently I didn't get any photos of the books and crayons... just the bags. Oops!

Two and a half weeks later and Ezra is still talking about the 'coo bus' ride with his friends. And the frosting. He certainly hasn't forgotten the frosting. Thanks to everyone who celebrated with us!

P.S. I'm happy to give the cupcake flags and garland to anyone who's local and can pick them up! Just send me an email...